disintegrate

rate

God lets me see the beauty of small things even when i am upset.
how great is our God!
the realisation that i do not seek man's approval but only His approval matters the most.
He dried my tears and now i see. (:

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failure to launch was such a nice movie. it was great laughing at the stupidest things. (:

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going back to do my essay. BLEH. :(

even if the world refuses to shine, there will still be us. (:

it would be impossible to name out all our memories because that will take eternity. but isnt that the beauty of it all? we have forever to create more eternity's'. things change and we have changed. though things can never be as simple as it used to be, i still like it better right now. we are a part of each other lives ; no longer playmates only but true friends who look out for each other.

i dont know why i am feeling so emotional about it. but i guess it is because only our true friendship can stir up true emotions from the heart. (:

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haha. i should stop writing emo-stuff out. but some things are best left said here than to say it face to face. (:

i feel so much better now. rah.

keep praying.

presentation is over! YIPEE! i finally found time to upload pics that i took over the weekend.

church pics on saturday. (:

ooooh! and look at what clara, abi and i gave to daniel koh!! i proudly present to you my first ever jigsaw puzzle that i did. :D Clara and i were so proud of ourselves even though she was complaining most of the time while doing it. HAHA.

i am glad he liked it. :D

yesterday, i met peetard and we were fooling around as usual. I looked so tired in the pictures. it must be because of everything that has happened over the week but i had great fun.(:

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everything is going to be okay. i know it will be. i just want to trust and move on. (: God is the strength of my heart.

forever ;

you all are STILL the reason why i can let go.
i cannot imagine what will it be like if i was never apart of your lives.
and after talking to you yesterday, i realised that the pain will hurt even more at the end of the year. And i just started crying because it hurts to make a decision like this.

but what would it be like if i stay and see you and you leave? we all have to admit that even though we need each other, we still need to be around our own age group too. but without the both yous, i dont know how i will be able to survive alone too.There are alot of other factors that i cant seem to agree with. God, what do you want me to do? i really want to move on but there are alot of things that are holding me back. Deal with me in YOUR own way, Lord.

i am glad that you told me that you felt the same sentiments of us being one cg in future. Like how our parents are now, it will be amazing to forever be a part of each other's lives. It has always been one of my childhood dream to do so and i know that in each of our hearts, we want it that way too. (:

Lets sincerely pray for directions this year and in the coming years. And lets just follow where God wants us to be. i know that His plans will be the most perfect for us. (:

i believe that our hearts will be there
even if we are miles away.
even if we drift apart sometimes,
our hearts will find the way back to restore everything.

i had a great time talking to my mum today.
and she listened. (:
i was talking about church and she was giving me all the right advices.
and i am glad she has really given me alot of freedom to decide on what i want in life.
it is amazing how much she has let go and i thank God for that. (:

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here i am waiting, abide in me i pray
here i am longing for you
hide me in your arms
and bring me to my knees
may i know Jesus more and more

I laughed. I disappeared.
Feeling like a parcel of air floating by.
Have your way in me, God.

if only everyday could be like today.
this is the first time that i have laughed the most since i started schooling in nus.
(:

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You take me up, You take me down.
i am spinning around and i dont know where else to run.
i pray for a stop soon ; a stop that only You would be want me to.
so take me if you could and walk with me even as You decide.

i really dont get it.
why must you treat me like that?
it is like this friendship depends on whether you want it or not.
it is like i dont matter at all.
i shouldnt even be worrying about this at my age.
this is not primary school where you decide on whether you want to be my friend or not.
it is like no matter what, i am always on the losing end.
Sometimes i just feel like giving up and walk away.
Sometimes i wish i didnt have to get myself worried over you.
But maybe that is because i DO care about our friendship inspite of everything.
i just dont know what to do.
Tell me how!

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i just cant wait for the weekends to come. Church seems alot better than school now. it will be a better day tomorrow, jeanette. i know it will be a brand new day and a brand new beginning. (:

be still.

God has assured us about life after death but sometimes it is so hard to comprehand the pain of losing someone. It does not matter whether you were close to that person or not because the pain still exists. It is at moments like these when i feel alot but is lost for words.

i guess this is the process of growing up. You see the world at a bigger picture. (:

if only crying and pain never existed,
this world will become a better place.

be free. Take care, my friend's friend.

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when the oceans rise and thunders roar
i will soar with you above the storm
father, you are King over the flood
i will be still
know you are God.

Dennis made me day today. (:

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Guess who? :D

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the journey which takes you to the end of the earth.
no matter where life takes me to,
i am rest assured in your arms.
see the road ahead?
i am walking towards You.

He makes me lie down in green pastures
he leads me beside quiet waters
he restores my soul. -Psalm 23:2-3

and then my soul knows very well.

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it feels like i am back here again.
all of these seem so familiar yet so unknown.
~~escaping~~ has been crossing my mind and i am just scared.
why God? Why God?
my heart feels like it has been broken into a million pieces.
that hurt, that pain, that tears : are they all worth it?

obey, jeanette. my soul finds peace then.

i wait for the Lord, my soul waits
and in his word, i put my hope.
Psalm 130:5

It is 2.03 am and i am finally done with my geog essay. This week has been tough on me because i had to write two essays and most of the time, i was stucked on my bed staring at the comp not knowing what to write. i have been having 7 hours of sleep each day and it is really getting to me. BUT EVERYTHING IS OVER FOR NOW! I GOT THE WHOLE WEEKEND TO ENJOY! OOOOOSH! (:

i am actually kind of looking forward to school tml because after tml, the real party begins. HAHA. (:

thank YOU for sustaining me.

HELLO TWIN.
remember that you are in the world but not of the world.

i am truly blessed.
abi's cg was really good today.
it was yet another wake up call.
but yet i dont seem to know where to go forth from here.
i think God is directing me into somewhere i can accept.
i need to sit down and start praying.
in spite of everything, i kind of like where i am standing right now.
This is something that i will never ever be able to accept then but now i guess it all makes sense. Even in the midst of the darkness, i can still shine and i can still say that everything works out for His glory, not mine!

maybe it is time to take this leap of faith and just go forth. (:

i have found my exceeding joy. (:

i am truly humbled.
i have learn to give everything up for YOU.
because in YOU, everything makes sense and everything seems clear.
let it be and let it go.

He must become greater ; i must become less.
-John 3:30

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i can see why God wants me to stay.
i can see a glimpse of light through the darkness.
because i can still learn so much more than i can imagine.
there is light. there is hope.
there is God here that is real to me.
maybe. just maybe. (:

i see a big field filled with daisys and sunflowers.
the sun is gleaming onto me and i feel free.
there i will be, singing my heart out to YOU.

for YOU are the sunshine of my life
nothing compares to YOU

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school has been depressing.
i am trying to hold on as always.
it will be alright soon. (:

for love sees beyond the flaws of a person.
i want to say that to you.

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suddenly, i feel so scared.
it is like coming back to haunt me and i cant lift up myself to say that everything will be fine.
it is like i dont belong there but yet it is the only place i can go.
i dont like that side of me.

i really need to fix my eyes upon Jesus.

Peter was beginning to discover within himself just how much he really did love the Lord. He discovered that his eyes were so fixed on Jesus Christ that he saw no one else in heaven above or on the earth below. But he did not know it until the probing, hurting questions of the Lord were asked. The Lord’s questions always reveal the true me to myself.

The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you." - John 21:17

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you asked me. it hurt. i truly love you, Lord.

Try not to ask me about it, please.

all i really want now is PEACE. (:

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cause i know my God saved the day
and i know His word never fails
and i know my God made a way for me
salvation is here